bigWOWO » parenting

RiceDaddies Founder on the Today Show

jaehwan — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 05:27:28 +0000

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Check out Jason Sperber, the co-chief of RiceDaddies, on the Today Show above. I think he is quickly becoming the most prominent Stay at Home Dad in the country. First RiceDaddies, then NPR, and now the Today Show with Matt Lauer. And neither he nor his wife is part of the Celebrity Club. I smell a book deal in the works!

More power to SAHDs. More power to SAHMs. When Pod or Gun gets sick, I often fall into SAHD mode, and I know it’s not an easy job. I’ve got all the respect in the world for those who can do it. I think Jason and Michelle have an ideal setup.

Raising Happiness by Christine Carter, Ph.D. (Review)

jaehwan — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 22:45:50 +0000

I sometimes put my name on the waiting lists for popular books at the library. I requested the book Raising Happiness by Christine Carter probably three or four months ago. I was #25 or #26 in line, and my turn finally came up just last week.

This is an excellent book, both for children and parents. I don’t know what the rest of you think, but I know very few parents who consciously raise their kids for happiness. Success, maybe, and confidence, maybe, but happiness? I think many parents view happiness as a fleeting kind of state, one which pales in comparison to more concrete goals like achievement or academic skills. I think Western cultures view happiness as more of a temporary state than a goal.

Which could be one of the reasons Carter includes quotes by the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh and other Buddhist teachers throughout this book. Carter focuses on harmony by encouraging parents to:

1. Be happy themselves

2. Build a community/village around their children

3. Focus on the process, not the results

4. Teach gratitude, forgiveness, and optimism

5. Raise emotional intelligence

etcetera.

Check out this book if you’re looking for a good book on parenting. If more parents focused on their children’s happiness, the world would be a much happier place. Some may think of “happy” children as those who sit around playing video games and not achieving, but Carter focuses on encouraging a child’s intrinsic motivation to succeed and to contribute to society as a means of achieving happiness. She talks about praising effort as a means to encourage children to do their best. How often do children these days see the glass half full rather than half empty? I think it’s a worthwhile goal that could do wonders for our children.

Should Lyoto retire?

jaehwan — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 17:11:43 +0000

" target="_blank">This is an interesting video. ESPN talks to Lyoto Machida’s father Shinzo and asks if Lyoto should retire. Shinzo says that Lyoto should retire, that he has spoken with the rest of his family about his opinion but has yet to raise the issue with Lyoto.

I think part of the reason Yoshizo wants him to retire is that Lyoto is Yoshizo’s son. It must be hard watching your son getting beaten up by a fighter like Shogun Rua. The interesting part for me, however, was at the end, when Yoshizo talks about spirit, and how physical injuries heal quick while injuries to the spirit can take years to recover. This was exactly why I was calling for Machida to fight someone very easy in his next outing. (This, of course, is pretty hard to find. That 205 division is stacked with talent.)

I think what great parents do for their children is to build up their spirit. A person with a strong spirit can always find a way to get knowledge or experience that he needs to succeed. A person with a weak spirit can only react.

Why Parents Hate Parenting

jaehwan — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 07:19:25 +0000

Thank you to RiceDaddy blogmaster Jason, who podcasted, facebooked, and blogged the NPR conversation above (Go directly to NPR here if the above video doesn’t load). It’s a discussion with three dads about whether being a dad makes a guy happier or not. It’s an extension of the conversation initiated by this article in New York Magazine: All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting. According to the article, parents think that they’re happier because they decided to have kids, but in reality they’re not. There’s no correlation between kids and happiness, unless people have more than one kid, in which case they tend to be unhappier than people without kids.

The podcast is good, and they have a broad spectrum of dads–a Black dad, a White dad, and Jason, the Asian dad. I thought they could’ve picked a better choice than the guy with the seven month old; he’s only been a dad for seven months–of course he’s only going to have positive things to say! At seven months, they cry, they eat, they sleep. What is there to complain about? Age one, they can now run away from you. Age two, they throw tantrums. Age three, they talk back and fight with you and tell you they don’t like you. At age 4, they develop Columbo skills when questioning you and pointing out unfairness. I don’t even want to know what they do at age 14. If there is unhappiness that comes from parenting, I’m positive that most people don’t experience it in the first year, or even the second year. I think NPR should’ve diversified across their children’s ages, as well as race.

Other than that, it was a great podcast. The moderator did very well, and I thought she brought up great points. I liked Jason’s comments, and I was envious of the hours that he and his wife have to spend with family. The dad with the seven year old is funny, although he would’ve gotten slammed on the 44s for making that statement about men being providers. (I wouldn’t slam him though because I agree–to a certain extent.)

My views on the article? I agree with it and think it’s a great article. I don’t think parenting is correlated with happiness. And I can see how it can create unhappiness. I totally sympathized with the woman on page 4 of the New York Mag article who is too tired to have interesting conversations after child care. And the financial pressures–diapers, schooling, daycare, food, clothing–are enormous.

Don’t get me wrong–I love my kids, and I wouldn’t trade this life for anything else. The happiest days of my life were when my two kids were born. I think kids deepen one’s experience and understanding, and children can be man’s greatest teachers. Children can help one to learn more about life, and I think they deepen one’s understanding of humanity. But I think happiness exists wherever one makes it, and sometimes it rests beyond one’s control.

Think about it. Is Rudy Giuliani happy that his son told the press that he would never vote for his father? Is Dick Cheney happy that his daughter prefers women and therefore distances him from the rest of Republican party? What about the parents of Kyron Horman who disappeared nearly a month ago? I’m not saying that these parents would have chosen differently; but I’m saying that happiness doesn’t necessarily come from kids. Add to that the facts (mentioned in the article) that raising kids is often more about changing clothing, feeding, and driving to piano lessons, and it’s clear that there’s quite a bit of work in parenthood. Kids and family happens to be one path. It could be the right path for you, or it might not be. People should never feel pressure to have kids because there’s a whole world out there with different lifestyles that could work just as well, depending on who you are.

A handful of sugar, a pinch of salt, and a liter of water

jaehwan — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:36:50 +0000

I’ve been at home for two days and counting with a sick feverish infant. Little Pod has been running a fever and throwing up. We just got back from the doctor’s office. Everything is okay; the doctor just said to keep giving her liquids and getting her rest. Right now she’s sleeping on my shoulder.

So here’s the next post on “stuff to make you cool,” or in this case, stuff to help you help others. If you’re ever in a poorer country and you meet an infant who is vomiting, feverish, and has diarrhea, make sure he or she drinks ORS (Oral Rehydration Solution). Diarrhea kills millions of kids each year–more than malaria, AIDS, and measles combined. It kills children by dehydrating them. But there’s a simple solution: ORS.

Here’s the recipe: a handful of sugar, a pinch of salt, and a liter of clean water. Just mix it up and give it to the child to drink. It’s that easy: read more here (photo credit). As I understand it, the water provides valuable liquid, salt provides the electrolytes, and sugar makes it taste better. It can save a child’s life.

(Above I said to use this if you’re in a poorer country. If you’re in a richer country, Pedialyte or Gatorade tastes much better. The principle is still the same; make sure your children get enough water and electrolytes if their sickness is causing them to expel water and electrolytes.)

Cooking making a comeback

jaehwan — Tue, 11 May 2010 06:37:59 +0000

Cool article in CNN today: Food 101: Seeking Clues in the Kitchen. In the article, the writer Stephanie Chen writes about the new movement spearheaded by Jamie Oliver and Michelle Obama to bring good food back into the national conversation. According to the article, even though people eat food in restaurants, read about food, or watch the Food Network, there are many people who still do not know how to cook. Lack of culinary awareness contributes to all kinds of problems. From Jamie Oliver:

“If you don’t know how to cook, then you have no options,” writes Oliver to CNN. “You’re forced into a series of bad choices and a diet of mostly processed foods … cooking skills are life skills and just as important as knowing how to manage your money.”

I started cooking years ago when I realized how much cheaper it is than eating out (yup, the quickest way to get my attention). At a restaurant you’re paying mostly for labor and decor. Quality is better when you make it yourself, AND you know exactly what goes into your food. It’s by far the healthier choice. When you have kids, I also think it’s important to provide them with home cooked meals so that they develop a proper appreciation for healthy food.

Check out the article above. If you’re new to cooking, there’s a small photo section that shows basic kitchen skills. The article also links to an Asian American food critic who teaches quick recipes from the blender (if anyone tries these, let me know how it turns out. I’m not much of a blender person. I should’ve bought the Vita-Mix.)

Fire Every Teacher

jaehwan — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:21:33 +0000

I saw the above debate this morning. It’s pretty entertaining. It seemed (and I don’t know this for a fact since I didn’t time it) that Anderson Cooper was giving Steve Perry a bit more time to talk than Randi Weingarten, but the question is interesting–what do you do about a school that is somehow failing?

In general, I would agree with Steve Perry. When groups don’t perform, it’s sometimes best just to change the leaders and/or players, and with a cut for those making above $72k a year in a poor school district, you’re most likely going to take out leaders. Shutting the school down isn’t necessarily a bad thing either; if people associate a school with failure, it may be most efficient just to start over again. At the very least, it will send a message to underperforming teachers and difficult teaching unions.

That being said, kids are a long-term investment. I think it’s hard to give people money and then expect things to change overnight. Especially with schools, longevity and loyalty are good things. Kids ought to feel that their school will be there for them. Loyalty to schools is different from loyalty to, say, one’s favorite clothing brand. It’s a hard, multifaceted issue.

Thoughts?

Educating Children About Food

jaehwan — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 10:14:46 +0000

I thought some of you might enjoy this. Jamie Oliver, a winner of the 2010 TED Prize, talks about how America can help its young people live longer and healthier through better school cafeteria programs and education about food. His recommendations are interesting: kids should know what they’re eating, and they should be able to cook at least ten healthy recipes by the time they leave school.

I credit Jamie Oliver for starting my own interest in cooking. He makes it sound fun, and he communicates his passion for food through his words. I think this is a good prescription not just for schools, but also for parents. We parents need to do more to raise our children to appreciate and to know food.

Chinese Language School

jaehwan — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:10:05 +0000

Thanks, AlphaAsian, for posting this video. The video is about how education in the Chinese language is critical for Americans to learn about the world. 20% of the world lives in China, and as the experts say, it’s the most important foreign relation that the United States will have in the future.

My own son is learning Chinese at school right now, and I’m hoping that my daughter gets the same opportunity. It’s much easier for kids to learn when they’re kids. Not only does the second language infuse their thinking at a young age and broaden their understanding of the world, but kids who learn young do so more efficiently. They eventually speak without accents, and they can communicate with others as they develop their worldview. With the economic tear that China has been on, Chinese could very well be the next big language.

Dudescape to Dadscape

jaehwan — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 21:40:04 +0000

I caught this article linked by the fine people of BicoastalBitchin.

Alls I gotta say is that the writer hit the nail right flat on the head. This was my favorite sentence:

When baby makes three, the abrupt lifestyle change spells an end to these spontaneous expeditions.

Age three is the magic number, and it’s a dad thing, almost exclusively. Wives and women are cool checking with the singles, adjusting to the schedule, embarking on the same activities. But for guys, the party begins to end when the baby first comes, as you get used to changing diapers, feeding the baby, putting the baby to sleep, etc. The party completely ends at 3. You’re no longer the same person. Dude, meet yourself.

Sure, I still go out for fight night when Lyoto, BJ, or Anderson is fighting. Sure, I’m still down for chugging a beer at happy hour. But the nature of the outings is different. You’re now a dad, and that comes before everything else. You have very little time for anything else.

The author says at the end of the article that he’s beginning to have more time now that the kids are playing among themselves. He no longer gets the “dagger eyes” when he leaves the house. I’m looking forward to that time. I’ve been a different person for about four years now, and my littlest one is just 14 months, which means that I probably have another 22 months to go. Maybe I can once again re-enter the world of men.

Announcement related to this post:

I have announced that on Sunday I’m stepping down from my post as president of Thymos. It’s been a great five year run, but:

a) Thymos needs to diversify its leadership. I’ve been running it for five years, and that’s a lot. We’ve got at least one excellent leader who has announced his candidacy for president, and so I’m confident that it will be in good hands.

b) As a dad, Byron only has time for one full-time non-paying hobby. In this case, it’s novel-writing, with the occasional blog post going up just to keep it current.