This was our longest podcast to date…a whopping 84.1 Megs that will provide an hour and 27 minutes of entertainment! This is the podcast proposed by The Blah–a 31-year-old white guy from the Midwest. The verbal participants in this podcast were me and King, and the Blah weighed in by e-mail. I want to thank both King and the Blah for an AWESOME conversation. We decided to put “Rice Chaser” in quotes, since it’s our term, not the Blah’s, although we felt that his views were similar to the ones we often discuss. Download the podcast here, or hear it here:
I was actually thinking of dividing this into two separate podcasts, but I got lazy. But I seriously doubt any of you want to miss the first part OR the second part, so it’s all the same. If you really want to skip to the Robin-Hood-in-Reverse part, it begins at around 47 minutes. I also hope you all notice that the quality of this podcast is much better than the previous ones, since we used microphones rather than telephones to record. It took a little more work to put it together, but I think it’s much easier on the ear than our normal telephone line. We had some technical difficulties, but we’re going to improve.
I mentioned several links in the podcast. Here they are:
Some of my notes:
1. You’ll rarely see the kind of honesty that the Blah shared below. You’ll rarely get the insight shared by me and King.
2. I thought it was REALLY profound to read what the Blah wrote about women and storylines vs. men and visuals (tying in to the Violet Kim video above).
Anyway, enjoy the podcast and feel free to sound off like a WOWO.
Here were our questions to The Blah, along with his answers.
1. Do you prefer Asian women?
Yes, and within the Asian category I have a slight preference for Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. Please note that most white guys prefer white women so I am a bit unique in this regard. I have dated white women in the past, and am open to them now, but they simply are not my preference. I probably prefer Asian women as much as an Asian guy does.
2. If so, why?
Because I can get a much better deal!
There are a number of reasons that I will try to get at. First a bit about me: if you were to pick 10 white guys at random in my age cohort (early 30s) and line them up in terms of their attractiveness with one being the least and 10 being the most attractive I would probably be 6th in the line. I look like the love child of Tom Greene and David Spade. While decent in the face and just a tad over six feet I am very skinny. Also within the white guy category a hierarchy exists in terms of attractiveness. Those with black or brown hair are at the top, followed by blond guys, and redheads are at the bottom. Light eyes are preferred over dark.
There seems to be more variability in the attractiveness scale when it comes to white woman, and it seems like a lot of that variability tends to hover around the low end, unfortunately. This is no doubt linked to the fact that relative to Asian women white women have been hit hard by America’s obesity epidemic. Although there are a fair amount white women who I would consider 9-10s, just as there are many Asian women, the 40th-60th percentile of white women are to me comparable to the 25th-40th percentile of Asian women. The 61st-90th percentile of white women are to me the equivalent of the41st-70th or so percentile of Asian women, in my opinion.
Since most white guys prefer white women those who can get 9-10s will compete hard for them. They are pretty much unattainable for me and in my opinion the 9-10 Asian woman is as hot as the 9-10 white woman anyways, and at least I have a shot with them. Being an average or slightly above average white guy basically means that if I choose to date an Asian woman I can date a slim attractive woman. Because of the attractiveness scale of white women I would typically have to settle for having either a slim woman with an average to unattractive face or a cute woman with a very mediocre body. It can be tough but I have had good luck dating Asian women who are 6-7’s, usually.
I am an introvert. A lot of the Asian women that I have encountered tend to be introverts as well, so we have that in common and it’s someone easy for us to build rapport with one another. So this is a plus. We can both be in an enclosed space and not feel the need to talk a lot too which is nice.
Unlocking the mystery of the Asian girl with the skinny white nerd: Asian girls are more open to dating skinny guys, which is a plus for me. I don’t think I am necessarily nerdy (and don’t personally have a STEM background) but because of family background Asian girls are more open to dating guys who majored in STEM subjects and these guys are disproportionately nerds. Also when a woman is with a guy she wants to feel smaller and more feminine. When a guy is with a girl he wants to feel bigger. Since Asian girls are usually more petite than white girls they are more open to dating smaller/skinnier guys. This is likely another reason why I’ve been in relationships with Asian girls.
3. Judging from your comment about the new Indian Miss America, I take it you are not attracted to black or Indian women. Is this true? If so, why not?
Give me a young Lisa Bonet any day of the week! I’m quite attracted to light tan skin and black hair, but she’s about as dark as I like. Most black women are a bit darker though. The same could be said for Indian women. It’s not that I’m not into all of them I am just into a rather small percentage. Also negatives for me is the fact that Indian women are as extroverted as white women black women are more so. I suppose if my preferences were not being met with Asian women with white women as my “back up” I would be willing to be more flexible.
In the post about the Indian Miss America I said the decision was based on political correctness, and it was. The title of Miss America suggests that the winner represents what America considers beautiful. The fact is that if all Americans were given the option to vote for a Miss America a white woman would win again and again given current demographics. However Miss America is chosen by small panel of judges who are under enormous pressure to take diversity into consideration which explains the result.
4. If you personally are not attracted to Indian or black women, why do you personally think Asian guys should be?
I don’t feel like I can take my personal preferences and say that other groups share them. Not even white guys share my personal preferences.
I think someone in the comments asked me why I don’t suggest that white guys go after black women since that’s what I suggested to Asian men. The reason I don’t is because white guys are doing a pretty good job at dating their preferred race as it is, and because they have the choice of dating their preferred race versus one they tend to be less attracted to, it is not realistic to assume they will change voluntarily. Why would we if our perceived or real needs are being met? We just don’t feel the disparity and therefore aren’t as upset about the dating situation relative to Asian guys. Sure you hear white guys occasionally complain about black guys getting white women, but our overall dating prospects haven’t been hurt terribly. If white guys were in Asian guys’ shoes, I would give the below advice to white guys.
Judging from Asian PUA sites and conversations with Asian guys, Asian guys, like white guys, have pretty much limited themselves to Asian and white women, and tend to steer clear of Indian and especially black women. I suggested that Asian guys should consider dating black women as one option within a larger “toolbox” to improve overall dating opportunities. (See my comment: http://www.bigwowo.com/2013/09/deflection-coaching/#comment-212034 )
In doing so, this would not mean that Asian guys would have to stop empowering themselves to improve their position in the dating/marriage marketplace. But it would be one item in the “tool box” or part of a dual pronged approach that would include not only working for empowerment for more choice in the dating/marriage market through activism but it could also help with the current situation relating to dating, exposure to diversity, etc. Many people take a job they don’t like because it is better than being without; in doing so they work to improve their standing so they have more options.
5. Do you believe that certain races have advantages in intelligence? What about athletic ability? Why do you think this is?
Another way to phrase the question is, “do I believe races have identical genetic potential for intelligence and athletic ability?” The answer would be no because it would be impossible. If you stop and think about the question it sounds silly on many levels. Races are collections of individuals, so since individuals vary in terms of their abilities/characteristics races will as well. Evolution shaped us. In an introductory statistics class, one of the first things student learn about are normal distributions. It can be helpful to think in these terms.
Personality, athleticism, intelligence, drive among many other traits all are influenced in part by genes. Studies have been done on twins separated at birth, raised in completely different environments, who meet again as adults. These twins tend to be remarkably similar in terms of intelligence, athletic ability, personality (including sense of humor, etc.) and unique quirks. Genes aren’t everything, but they are powerful.
6. Let’s talk about this Robin-Hood-in-Reverse trend among some Asian female filmmakers and artists. How does it feel to be the deity of this demographic? Is it comfortable? Uncomfortable?
I am somewhat unusual in that I never watch my television and only rarely watch movies, and when I do so, I only see those at mainstream theaters. Nearly all my media is from the internet and I stick with non-fiction and opinion content. I don’t like chick flicks or that sort of thing so it’s not something I’m drawn towards/seek out. I think movies with love stories influence women more than men. Women are the real consumers of those romance story lines (for example romantic novels, etc.). Men are just brought along to accompany the women to those movies. Maybe I’ve seen 5-7 movies like this in my life. They don’t make me uncomfortable. I suppose these videos benefit me but mostly to the extent that they make Asian women more open to dating me. I guess from my perspective it is kind of cool for me to see it on tv too.
Women’s sexuality is much more dependent on a story line compared to men’s, and I’ve actually seen some studies supporting this. Guys on the other hand are more direct and simply need a visual.
7. What do you think about minority empowerment? As a White guy who likes Asian women, do you think it has anything to do with you?
It depends what you mean by minority empowerment. I’ll assume you are referring to Asian minority empowerment. I won’t get in to affirmative action and other unethical measures.
I am for people empowering themselves. In terms of media, at the low end (e.g. YouTube, indie lit and movies, etc.) it really is very democratic. Most people with an average amount of talent can do it if they put in the work.
At the high end it becomes very zero sum and highly competitive, not unlike many other fields. For example if one film is getting mass screening it will have to displace another because there are only so many slots available. Big money won’t take risks unless the risk-adjusted return is sufficient, and there’s a sizable amount of big Asian money in the US. There are many, many examples of low-budget indie films that have been released nationwide after doing well at indie film festivals. It seems to me that’s one practical avenue for AM-AF films. Hollywood isn’t making softcore porn featuring glittery vampires because they love those movies but rather because they are profitable. But perhaps the real movement will happen overseas. Wang Jianlin of China is spending $8.2 billion to create a Chinese Hollywood.