About ten years ago, I read a book called “Envy of the World” by Ellis Cose, where he talks about what it’s like to be a black man. He wrote about black men’s appeal to White women and how some black women were resentful of BM/WF, even if, in his explanation, 9 out 10 black men who married did so with black women. Fast forward ten years, and Moroboshi wrote this statement in the last HBD thread:
I’m not saying this applies to everyone but I’ve notice a certain “jealousy” some AM have toward BM. They wonder why do BM do so well with women. (that in itself is a stereotype that I’m not even so sure of) It rips them some of them up inside when they see a WF with a BM because they feel it’s their right to have that because they are supposedly “genetically’ better (smarts,etc). You will find a lot of these bitter, loveless AM seeking things like PUA or HBD. Been reading some of the message boards lately and I’d say 80% of AM going to PUA sites are seeking WFs.
This is not a PUA or HBD thread (so the Obtrusive and Unsubstantiated rule applies…take it out on the other thread if you want to discuss the validity of HBD), but I agree with Moro–lots of the PUA/HBDers use the two philosophies to stick it to the black man. It’s like they’re fighting reaaaal hard to be #2 in the pecking order. “Well, at least I’m smart and get recognition for that!”
A lot of it has to do with the fact that yes, Black men have a certain cachet in American society that Asian men do not. They are “the envy of the world,” which is the title of the book and which comes from a phrase in a Toni Morrison novel. That envy is shared by a lot of angry Asian men, who strike back. However, as Moroboshi alluded to, it’s complicated. I personally had always thought that the Asian man’s main worry was the Invisible Chain and the AFCC Embargo, but after years of talking to people, there is lots of yearning to go outside the community as well. I’ve spoken to Black guys about this, and it’s very complicated.
An older White guy who was a player in his younger life once explained it to me. He said, “Byron, it goes like this. There are more White women who prefer Black guys than there are White women who prefer Asian guys. But…there are more White women who won’t date a Black guy ever and fewer who have that criteria against Asian guys.” What I think this means is that our combined “first” and “second” place finishes are greater than those of black guys, but that we come in “second” a lot.
For the statistics nerds, this means that…well, if you’re in the male version of the AFCC, life is still hard. But it also means that this resentment against Black men is baseless. A lot of times, the reason y’all can’t become the next OJ is because you’re coming in second behind White men, not second behind Black men. So there’s no reason to keep sipping the HBDPUA Kool-Aid.
Actually, in my view, the healthiest thing is to simply opt out. This is true whether you’re Black or Asian. Keep working on media representation and educating yourself on the social aspect of race relations, but for yourself personally, be like a yogi and compete against yourself. You’ll win every time.
(Pic from here.)