The Long and Short of It

Keni Styles, from SF Gate

Keni Styles, from SF Gate

Now that we’re completed Happy Week, let’s talk about penis size.

I saw this column by Jeff Yang where he talks about the Asian male penis stereotypes, and then goes on to talk about Keni Styles, whom Minority Militant first noticed a while back.  Thanks also to Efren who posted on Jeff’s article.  According to everyone, Keni Styles, a Thai-British 28 year old, is mainstream porn’s first big Asian male star.  Jeff started off his article by mentioning the Asian male stereotypes for lack of size, and Efren talks about how he feels that Asian American men just don’t participate when there’s a call to action.  You can see Jeff’s full interview here.

I actually have very little to say about this–I am posting it because some of you might find it amusing.  I slightly disagree with Efren’s and Jeff’s interpretation of Mr. Styles’s appraisal of Asian American men–I didn’t think he was coming down on us for not stepping up, but rather I thought he was just mentioning that he has overcome a lot and that it’s important to stay positive.  I feel bad for Jon Gosselin–not only did he sleep with unattractive women, but those unattractive women are now pulling his reputation down even lower than before (if that’s possible).  At least Tiger’s unattractive women had something good to say about his sexual prowess (although maybe there’s a reason why they call him “Tiger”).

I think Keni’s got the right attitude when it comes to the penis size question.  He says:

The whole size issue is ridiculous. You don’t fuck someone with your dick, you fuck someone with your whole body, your attitude, your presence. The moment you say, “Oh, my dick is X inches long,” you’ve let society win the battle of thinking it matters. And it just doesn’t. I’m not the biggest there is, and I’m not the smallest, but I’ve never measured my penis against anything than a girl’s vagina. If it fits and she’s happy, I’m happy.

(Woo hoo! My blockquote function works! Sayonara, vigilance!  Hello homywhite!)

And this is coming from a guy who (I’m assuming) is much bigger than average.  You’ve got what you got, so just use whatever it is.  And he’s right that it’s your whole body, attitude, and presence (okay, I’m going to stop because Keni knows a lot more about this than I do.  He’s probably had more partners than I have Facebook friends.).

As I stated, I don’t have much to say on this topic, but if you want, you can check out Roger Fan’s Quest for Length (on Youtube, but probably NSFW).  If you’re interested in reading a black man’s version from the, um, more gifted side of the stereotype spectrum, check out Hung: A Mediation on the Measure of Black Men in America.

49 thoughts on “The Long and Short of It

  1. Well, in the first place, nobody really can give accurate phallus size comparisons unless they’re going around and measuring erect Phalli. All the usual mumbo jumbo about locker room observations is nonsense. You cannot tell how long anyone’s phallus is unless you are viewing it when it’s aroused. A guy may have a flaccid length of 5 inches and grow to 6, or a guy may have a flaccid length of 3 inches and grow to 6. Generally, the longer the flaccid length, the less arousal expansion. That is were a lot of confusion ensues—guys assume that because their own penis may double in length and girth when aroused, that a guy who is 5 inches flaccid, will grow to 10 inches! This is patently false the vast majority of the time.

    A guy may know, just by looking at a woman, what her breast size is. It’s pretty out there, but penis size isn’t that obvious. So, most women have very little idea how a guy is endowed when he approaches her. Women are attracted to men for a wide range of reasons, but penis size is something that they’re not going to find out until later. So, by time the size issue even comes up, she already likes you for a lot of other reasons anyway. It’s not going to be make it or break it. Besides there is a huge difference between having a large organ and being a good lover. It is entirely possible to have a big dick but really suck at pleasing a woman.

    I agree that Keni Styles has it right, sex is really about a lot of things that go way beyond organ size, unless you fall into the extremes on either side.

  2. Good point, King. Aside from porn, most heterosexual guys probably don’t see more than one erect penis (their own) in their lifetimes. And most heterosexual guys probably don’t show their erect penises to any other guy throughout their lifetimes. Most women probably only see that of their lovers, which I’m guessing averages a number that you could count on one or two hands. I just filled out my census form, and there was no box that asked me for my size. So I’m not sure where they get their stats (or if they get their stats).

    I’m still thinking about Keni’s interview. Honestly, I’m impressed by the guy. He’s got a very humble, very matter-of-fact way of viewing the world. It’s almost Buddhist–i.e. focus on what you can control, don’t worry about the rest. Seriously, not to stereotype, but it’s a far cry from what I would expect from guys in that industry.

  3. Well to tell you the truth, here is another place where porn does a lot of damage. Porn is targeted almost entirely to a male market, so it feeds into male fantasies. However, almost all of these fantasies are based on ridiculous misconceptions.

    1) FANTASY: a thick 9 inch penis is a real turn-on for most women:
    REALITY: many women (probably most) would have a rather uncomfortable time with a penis of that size. Sounds good but in reality—just a big pain.

    2) FANTASY: most women are really horny most of the time, and are ready for sex immediately, as a kind of relief valve to their constant horniness.
    REALITY: most women take a lot longer to be ready for sex, and sometimes aren’t even looking to have an orgasm out of it.

    3) FANTASY: what feels best to a woman is a man who hammers away at her cervix like a demented sledgehammer, yelling “yeah baby” over and over again.
    REALITY: Leave the over energetic banging to prison movies, or weightlifting competitions.

    And if you don’t believe that clueless guys don’t actually act on all of the above misconceptions, ask some women.

  4. I can’t disagree there. It’s entirely male based, and it’s written entirely from the perspective of what men think women want. And most of the time it’s completely wrong on that account, which is why women consume it at lot less than men.

    Haha! I’ve seen some conversations by PUAs and with PUAs, and I know that kind of thinking exists.

  5. Thanks for giving credit where it’s due, B. I put a lot of research into each post and I rarely ever get any credit for anything because I’m not mainstream. I know who reads my shit, and it would be nice to get a little recognition every now and then when it counts. I always trace back my posts and drop names to give people their due credit, even for some of my readers that don’t blog.

  6. TMM,

    What’s up, man?

    You were the FIRST to break that story. Don’t worry, you and I are in the same boat. A lot of times I mention things first too, but no one ever links here because, you know, we’re not mainstream. We’re the black sheep of the AA blogosphere.

  7. Disclaimer: I’ve never actually watched porn, the acting is so terrible I can’t bear to watch more than 10 seconds into the intro part.

    I agree that there is this general misconception about size and pleasure as well as size and race. In my twenties, twice, I’ve broken up with partners after realizing sexual incompatibility. Once was with someone on whom I had a crush for a whole year and half (in college), also a very good friend, but when we finally got together, he was just too big – and I had a feeling he depended on his size to do the talking, so to speak. (i.e. from King’s fantasy list, #2) He was Ethiopian-American.

    Second was someone who was small – despite his enthusiasm and effort, it didn’t do anything for me and I actually had to stop him. I did enjoy the dates we had prior to this but, after much thought, the dates weren’t enjoyable enough to overlook the physical incompatibility. He was a Scandinavian-American.

    To be completely honest, the second example was the smallest I had ever experienced.

    Not that I was particularly promiscuous, but I am *ahem* older… and the best sex I had in my twenties was when I had a fling with a Korean-American man, in college. Of course, I wanted more than a fling but, at the time, he was more interested in dating white girls. (incidentally, he did marry a Korean-American, after all.)

    Anyhoo. And, I will say that I have a very healthy and fantastic sex life now, better than ever, with a partner who happens to be also Korean. (Yes, he is the whole package otherwise as well but the great sex really doesn’t hurt.)

    Now, I don’t have a scientific theory about that – but, for me, personally, it feels almost as if I am physically more compatible with Korean/Asian men, being Korean myself.

    I’m surprised that no one has brought up the fact that women also come with different sizes – and I am not talking about the chesty sizes.

  8. mama nabi- aw, but the terrible acting is part of the fun! My favorite pornos are the ones that try to tell a story or better yet, retell a story like Alice in Wonderland, Hamlet, Cinderella, you get the point. The cheap sets, cheap costumes, awful writing and even worse acting cracks me up, when it’s not turning me on during the steamier parts that thankfully, happen to be 75% of the time. That’s why I enjoy a lot of vintage porno. Stuff from the ’70s and ’80s with actual scripts. I’m spoiled and I need to have multiple sources of stimulation at the sme time. All the lame amatuer crap flooding the internet these days don’t do it for me. I mean, you’re just watching someone else’s honeymoon video. Why not just make your own? I want to see some effort, not just some shaky camera that gives me a headache. Women get romance novels. Guys just get porno. Hey, I want my crazy fantasies played out too.

    But anywho, you’re absolutely right: it IS about compatibility. Yes, size does matter, but not in ways that most guys think. If you’re small, instead of getting all hung up on it, find the right girl with whom you can enjoy great sex with, smallness and all. You’re not gonna please every woman out there, but that’s usually the wrong approach that a lot of guys take. Just work on pleasing ONE woman, who can also please you.

  9. “Second was someone who was small – despite his enthusiasm and effort, it didn’t do anything for me and I actually had to stop him.”

    Oh mama, you kill me! I just keep imagining this poor guy going to town and you’re like, “OK stop, this isn’t working… get out.”

    Hahaha!

  10. Interesting discussion!

    You raise some good points about size and compatibility, MN. Speaking of size, what’s doubly funny is this: the guy you dumped for being too big may have suffered emotional hurt, but he probably isn’t suffering from a hurt ego. The “too small” guy, on the other hand, probably is. Yet the end result was exactly the same for both of them! (And to be fair, I’ll bet more people are laughing at Mr. small rather than Mr. Big.)

    You also raised an interesting point about there being much more than sex that determines whether or not it will work. If everything else is good, a relationship might be able to make it. But without sexual compatibility AND other factors, it won’t.

    In the longer interview with Keni Styles, Keni mentions that his mom moved in with a British dude for a relationship based on sex, and that the relationship was doomed because such relationships don’t work out. I think guys (and maybe some gals) overemphasize sex in a relationship.

  11. “the guy you dumped for being too big may have suffered emotional hurt, but he probably isn’t suffering from a hurt ego.”

    Maybe not an ego problem, but it may still lead to same desperation. This can be a real problem… as I said above, it sounds great to most guys, but living with it is a totally different thing. Imagine a guy who runs into this problem over and over again. He likes a girl, he dates a girl, he loses a girl, all because his Johnson is to big. In the end, it doesn’t matter why you can’t connect. If you can’t connect, it’s still lonely.

  12. King,

    Imagine being that guy’s mother: “I don’t get it. My son is a world renowned medical expert, a top expert in his field, pulls in a solid six figures, is a championship level golfer, owns three homes and a castle in France, but he just keeps getting dumped. What is wrong with women today???”

    I guess I could see how that would be problematic…

  13. @ Leon

    That’s why I enjoy a lot of vintage porno. Stuff from the ’70s and ’80s with actual scripts. I’m spoiled and I need to have multiple sources of stimulation at the sme time. All the lame amatuer crap flooding the internet these days don’t do it for me. I mean, you’re just watching someone else’s honeymoon video.

    I’m with you Leon. I prefer vintage porn. Not so much the crazy hairdo’s of the 80’s, but I want my porno to have situational fantasies. Having a certain context stimulates the mind sexually. Pizza delivery sex doesn’t do it for me. I mean more like office sex.

    @TMM

    Thanks for giving credit where it’s due, B. I put a lot of research into each post and I rarely ever get any credit for anything because I’m not mainstream. I know who reads my shit, and it would be nice to get a little recognition every now and then when it counts. I always trace back my posts and drop names to give people their due credit, even for some of my readers that don’t blog.

    I think Jeff is mining your site for ideas, K.

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  15. I’m a half asian. My erect penis is probably 4-5 inches, average thickness for it’s length.

    My girlfriend orgasms usually 4-6 times during intercourse, which usually lasts 20-40 minutes (not including foreplay). She’s probably smaller than most women but the main reason I am guessing is her clitoris gets steady stimulation from the fact I can go all the way inside and I’m not bumping up against her cervix. Though she still says the orgasms are much better with me inside her than just from clitoral stimulation alone.

    Anyways, I had a complex about my size before meeting someone but it all turned out okay and I’m \better\ at sex than I ever thought I’d be.

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  19. I will take a fresh stab at the topic!

    http://tinyurl.com/olepvpc

    We were discussing how to improve Yun Xu’s site when the topic of how to address the Small Penis myth came up for discussion. Good points were made. Chinese Mom said that it was a Penis Worship culture (where men worship other MEN’S penises) and that it would be good to reject it completely. Yun Xu responds by saying that truth or not, it is something that a majority of people in America will “buy into” in various ways. Yun Xu says that we haven’t done a good job in debunking the stereotypes.

    Bint says that Yun Xu’s approach on his site is unsatisfactory for a couple of reasons (too long for me to paraphrase here), but I disagree.

    I think it’s very helpful for people to understand how the Myth is constructed and kept alive. We’ve all written about these fallacies and “scientific” frauds from time to time but we’ve never really had a list of the different methods used to kept the myth alive. This list is very helpful. It may open your eyes to the social conspiracy, and it may convince others that simple acquiescence or ignorance is not enough to fight it. Don’t they keep recycling the methods and pseudo-justifications?

    http://tinyurl.com/nkzrqoe

    Pozhal: “Where Asian Americans face a huge deficit is in social and cultural capital. And a big part of social and cultural capital is trying to elevate ourselves from being on the bottom rung of the social ladder, of which romantic relationships are a big part.”

    Would I be wrong if I said that Asians emphasize blending in, getting along with people, being agreeable, submitting to authority and hierarchy? So when you keep doing this, joining other people’s groups but making no impact apart from being agreeable, going along with anything, would it really be a surprise when someone finally decides to test your limits (and the group’s) by making these racist remarks?

    The Small Penis myth and remark has the most impact in two places: (a) within the person’s own mind, because now it affects how he behaves to the world around him, (b) when the audience acquiesces to its use.

    Until Asian men are able to PUNISH transgressors you will always be subject to social humiliations like these. No amount of discussing, “awareness” or rational thinking will fix anything. Discussion, awareness and rational thinking is good for US, but in the social realm, only your ability to PUNISH acts like these will matter.

    But you see, if Asian men are all about blending in, being agreeable, and being nice, and people have never seen you take a stand for yourself or for something, never seen you get angry, never seen you defend someone else, always seen you deferring to authority, then you wont have the ability to punish a transgressor, would you? You’ve always relied on someone else, so it’s a toss-up on how the other people around you will react. Most of the time they wouldn’t want to get involved. In others, they will buy in and join in the joke because gaining enjoyment from humiliating others has become an integral part of their psyche. It may be habit more than conscious choice.

    So my fix, my stab at the solution:

    Don’t be so fucking agreeable all the fucking time. Fight for something bigger than yourself, gain authority without necessarily being bound to organisational hierarchy, learn how to punish someone on a personal capacity instead of only through vested authority.

    Would this help individuals fight the lie on an individual capacity in social settings?

    Next up: fighting the myth on mass media

    I only hope my ADHD does not peter out by the time I get to collecting all my thoughts together. The focus just drifts from place to place

  20. @Sengge,

    I’m not sure what you disagree on my suggestion on Yun Xu. My suggestion on Yun Xu is if his site is only targeted to Asian men for manning up, then my suggestion definitely falls short of impact because my suggestion is also to encircle a variety of viewers by toning it down without sounding too desperate to debunk the penis myth.

  21. @Yun Xu,

    My site currently only targets Asian men because that’s where I see one of the biggest problems that has created a rift in the Asian community. It’s so divisive that we can’t seem to get past it to team up on other tissues so I feel it was important to tackle it first. – See more at: http://www.bigwowo.com/2013/08/anonymous-ad-hominem-fighting-thread/#comment-239375

    Then I retreat from my suggestion. Here’s the summary.

    → out of smell penis bubble. In fact, it serves as to unite and fight against the manipulated stereotypes.

    → I also don’t find that you’re doing for wrong purposes. I found that your purpose is well deserved.

    But what I do find is you can lift up your site to encircle different walks of life, that in a way will empower Asian men images. As I said, we’re all going to the same destination albeit different routes. Your route in particular is to deal with some Asian men to man up with debunking all those myths.

    Speaking of “Ken Jeong”, well we have division here as well. Although I never stated what my thoughts on that, you can scroll through those comments in movies threads.

    2. It’s not a priority, but it’s a factor isn’t it? Let’s say you have two men, a white and an Asian of equal quality (in this society, an alpha Asian vs an average white guy). So they’re the same package except that she assumes the Asian has a small dick. But, life isn’t that simple. In fact, the small dick dick is just one in a stack of lies against Asian men. If we ignore it, then females, in general, will be making unfair comparisons for their dating choices – Asian men “equal” wife beating, asexual, cheater, small dick, domineering, etc

    I found that my choice of scenario was wrong in No.2 and so were yours. When I posit a teenage pretty young girl from thousands of lists she can choose from, penis size won’t be the first priority. I loosely correlated the girl tendency to choose penis size with her brains. Yours is “Alpha Asian Vs average White man”. Continuing our false premises here and relying on stereotypes, why don’t we use Alpha Asian vs average White man Vs average Black man if the girl in hypothesis is so into the penis size then?

    Well, Yun Xu, I’m not here to argue about Penis Size as you might as well know from the start of our conversation. My initial suggestion to you is you can do much better than debunking the penis myths. But since your primary target is Asian men only, I have no say over this.

  22. Hi Bint!

    Yeah, Yun Xu’s site is definitely targeted at Asian American men only. There’s nothing on that site that a casual non-Asian American male viewer might be interested in. Yun Xu’s site isn’t meant to fix an image problem in other people’s heads but more for the guys who might be looking for some answers. I would not be worried about women bumping into the site. So they find out that Asian American men have a shitload of insecurities. So what? It’s nothing they won’t discover from browsing the blogs, discussion forums and youtube channels. Besides it seems that younger girls are okay with it. I honestly don’t know how a European would react to this sort of thing though, where we need women to hand-hold us and affirm our desirability. Urgh

    And sure, I think the site could still cater to a broader audience and still address the various myths like the “Small Penis” one, but that would require such a change in tone and approach it would almost be a major overhaul. My take is that it’s better to leave that to the others and concentrate within a smaller, more manageable mandate especially since this is a one man show. Like, one person could talk about something that is not PC, another could take pains to be more acceptable, but both are part of the whole.

  23. As I’ve allude to above. The whole “penis problem” can really be demonstrated statistically as a bell curve.

    On one extreme end of the curve is the micropenis which does cause problems with performance and satisfying a woman. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micropenis].
    On the other end is having a penis that is too large – in the sense that it is uncomfortable or painful to your sexual partner. NEITHER ONE LEADS TO SATISFYING A WOMAN.

    In the middle of the size distribution of the curve is a wide range of sizes that all fall into the “goldilocks zone” for sexual satisfaction. MOST men (and most Asian men) fall into this range.

  24. @Bint
    “Empower Asian men’s images” & “do much better than debunking the penis myths”
    Have you seen

    (copy and paste the urls and fix the “h ttp” into “http”)
    h ttp://asianmancure.com/asian_disadvantages.php
    h ttp://asianmancure.com/anti-asian_male_and_asian_female_sexualization_racism.php

    -These pages highlight many of the reasons for Anti-Asian racism

    h ttp://asianmancure.com/the_correct_mindset.php
    h ttp://asianmancure.com/frames_are_extremely_important.php
    h ttp://asianmancure.com/asian_pride_and_inspiration.php

    h ttp://asianmancure.com/how_to_fight_back_against_racism.php

    This last url is especially applicable to everyone that faces racism/discrimination.

    note: A lot of the content has to do with understanding and fixing Asian men’s dating issues. I wanted the site to be practical and give solutions (well, imo, anyway).

    If I can get this site off the ground, I’ll write another site to address another issue. I avoided the general site because I see too many blogs that just talk about misc topics without ever providing an overview or a way forward. In the end, imo, it is more noise for people to filter in search of a signal.

    What Asians need for cultural and social identity is far bigger like positive media, which is why we’re in a bad place because the media only wants to show stereotypes. Even worse than that are the traitors who take on such roles and the next-level morons that think making another af/wm film is empowering.

    I admit there have been changes recently, but it’s a ways off.

    @sengge
    “I honestly don’t know how a European would react to this sort of thing though, where we need women to hand-hold us and affirm our desirability. Urgh”

    It sounds like my site sends a message of “We need women to feel like men”, but my mindset/frames pages is the opposite of that so I’m not sure where that perception came from. Am I reading your sentence wrong? Please explain.

    “re overhaul”
    A lot of the content already overlaps into Asian issues so it wouldn’t be too hard to alter it into pc stuff. In fact, it’s less about adding and more about removing content to make it pc. I’m just weary of it becoming too general.

    I can use that to build a pc Asian site that addresses the overall picture and leave asianmancure.com for Asian men looking for solutions for their dating woes.

    h ttp://www.zakkeith.com – This is one of the best Asian empowerment sites I’ve ever come across. If any of you reading this have connections or have sites please link to it. There’s another called dangerzoneq.xanga.com but it’s down because they recently did an overhaul.

    @king
    Agreed.

  25. Guys, it has been asked at different times and on different threads “why their are not more AFs or even XFs on WOWO.”

    May I submit to you that one reason is because it often tends to take on a bit of a locker room atmosphere. So… cause and effect… If you would like a blog where it’s not just guys arguing/opining/complaining, but also is a place where there can be actual conversation and exchange of ideas with female commenters, then it might be a good idea to table all the locker room talk.

    Just a suggestion.

  26. King you can suggest all you want, but these are two Asian American guys commenting – on topic – about an AF getting it on with an AM. And believe it or not, on the topic of porn, if Keni did Asa up the Asa, it says a lot about AM empowerment, nevermind the fact that an AM and an AF actually got it on together rather than the usual IR media imagery that we are subjected to, porn or otherwise

  27. King,

    I agree with your “locker room” point. Nevertheless, I do think that a porn production featuring an AF with an AM is pretty ground-breaking and worthy of discussion.

    Just not with “Did he do her up the ass?” types of comments.

  28. Pozhal
    Do you not understand the rare AM media empowerment of an AM porn star having anal sex with an AF porn star in a porn video? I guess not.

  29. I think we all get that it’s somewhat groundbreaking (in the West) but there is a way that you would discuss such a thing among guys, and another way that you would discuss it among mixed company. What I’m saying is to assume the latter — if your goal is to have the latter. If not, then continue having fun talking to men about women instead of talking directly to women on WOWO.

  30. Ok, I’ll bite. Indieking, can you please explain why an AM porn star having anal sex with an AF porn star is more empowering than those same two porn stars having “regular” sex? Because you seem to be implying that it is.

  31. king,

    actually, there are a lot of female fans of certain AM pornstars. there have been legitimate intellectual discussions that arose from the topics of AM in porn. Keni styles in fact has started an entire porn project to empower the sexuality of AM. that was the explicit purpose. he was holding auditions for AM amateurs to be a part of his porn project. can’t seem to find the link.

    here’s another AM porn actor who talks about the being an asian male in porn. interviewer is a woman. it’s not a porn specific blog either.
    http://www.metanotherfrog.com/2010/07/08/blackie-chan-asian-porn-star/

  32. Eurasian
    King gets it, ask him. That is, if he is willing to comment about Anal Sex between AF and AM on a ( god forbid) porn thread.

    King
    Seriously, objecting addressing porn stars the way they are marketing themselves…we’re adults here – except maybe the sponsored troll, can’t see the harm. Any women readers here think i’m commenting like a sexist/ chauvinist on a porn thread?

  33. Can only think of Keni Styles and some other guy, shelovesasiandick com or something, cant remember the URL. Course like Keni he was also about IR with non -Asian girls as you like. No Asian girls, that’s what made me surprised that Asa got it on with Keni. There may have been that ‘hey are you guys sure we actually meant to be screwing each other’ puzzled look at the camera before they started haha

  34. Eurasian Sensation said: Ok, I’ll bite. Indieking, can you please explain why an AM porn star having anal sex with an AF porn star is more empowering than those same two porn stars having “regular” sex? Because you seem to be implying that it is.

    My guess is that because anal sex is perceived as an act of domination by the male over the female, and in American society, it’s rare to see an AM dominate an AF (as a WM would), and IndieKing wants to see that.

  35. Naturally, I’ ve heard similar arguments before. I call it the “Porn as Activism Argument.” But I think it’s mostly just another dead end.

    The fact is that the proportion of women who watch porn is significantly smaller that the number of men who watch porn.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/percent-women-70-percent-men-confess-online-porn-study-article-1.173109

    Also, studies tend to field the question “Have you EVER viewed pornography” instead of “Do you REGULARLY view pornography.” There are many women women have seen, pornography but do not watch it regularly. Also, of the women who do watch it, it is often seen (anecdotally) as a guilty pleasure. They don’t often go around gossiping to each other about what they may have seen when they were watching porn. In any case, having one Asian guy with a big penis who has sex with an Asian girl is not likely to the imagined image-changing effect on the female population regarding Asian men. It is much more likely to fall under the “Exception Rule,” in which it is understood that to every stereotype their are a few exceptions—the smart Black guy, the docile Latino, and the Asian man with s decent sized penis, are all seen as mere flukes.

    I think that chinesemom has it right. The best course is to simply reveal the stupidity and weirdness of the “penis worshipping culture” itself, rather than buying into it and then lionizing any Asian man you can find with a big dick.

  36. It’s been a busy, busy week, which is why I haven’t updated the front page in a week. Thanks, King, for moderating the this thread while I was gone.

    As usual, I agree with King’s judgment. People act in ways that drive other women away, and then people complain about how women don’t listen to them.

    I’m not saying that guys shouldn’t engage in locker room talk. Guys are guys, and that’s what guys do. But I think there’s a time and place for everything. If you all really want to bring women into the discussion, you have to act in a way that makes it a welcome place. If you want to exchange locker room talk, why not exchange e-mails and talk to each other off the site? That’s what should be happening anyway.

  37. Also, studies tend to field the question “Have you EVER viewed pornography” instead of “Do you REGULARLY view pornography.” There are many women women have seen, pornography but do not watch it regularly.

    That’s mostly because most porn is geared towards guys’ tastes. There is porn specifically made for women, but it’s niche, unless you lump romance/harlequin type fare in with “porn for women.”

    One aspect in which porn may be helpful for AM’s is perhaps in their psyche. Seeing themselves with women instead of seeing some White guy might be a positive for their self-image, even if it doesn’t change their image at large.

    However, what AM’s might want to get at some point is an AM vampire or werewolf who wants to simultaneously eat and love his beau. Maybe that should be your next book, Byron: “BigWowo Moon”. 🙂

  38. http://dateline.ucdavis.edu/dl_detail.lasso?id=6906

    That’s a UC Davis professor of asian American studies. He did a porn project for AM empowerment. This was a topic of discussion in the classroom by a man who dedicated his career to asian American studies.

    I look at aznlover.com. There is a popular subforum on porn that is quite active amongst the women.

  39. Ah, I have this guy on my Asian inspiration page along with other Asians making a difference. He’s got mighty big balls.

    h ttp://asianmancure.com/asian_pride_and_inspiration.php

  40. Pingback: David Choe: fantasies, realities, and definitions | bigWOWO

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