http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091201/ap_on_re_us/us_mr_hyphen

I’m going to start putting something together. Maybe we can do that podcast in early to mid December. I’ll let you know when it’s up.

I think a podcast by Asian American fathers is a great idea. Looking forward to that.

Thanks for your post. I just got back from the Banana Conference, and I met your colleague erin, as well as your colleague (and my blog-colleaugue) Sylvie. It was fun times.

I think it was erin who mentioned something during the conference about the gender divide continuing since the 70′s. This difference is probably why we have most guys on one side and many women on the other. I actually agree with most of what you wrote.

I’ll try to write something further about this masculinity issue later. Or better yet, maybe we can do a podcast. Maybe we could do a podcast by Asian American fathers.

If we agree that there is some value in traditional Asian male values for Asians, then perhaps we can agree that it’s at least worth a look to see if there is any applicable lesson for Asian “people of color in the United States.” As Asian Americans these days often go back to our roots with language, maybe we can also go back to our roots with culture, to examine how we came to be and why our ancestors did what they did. Then maybe I can talk about what we ought to be doing, rather than why Mr. Hyphen represents or doesn’t represent male empowerment. I can then be proactive.

Yes, there is a catwalk at Mr. Hyphen. Not an actual catwalk, mind you. Those fashion runways are pricey to build, but we do invite local independent Asian American designers to showcase a collection (part of Hyphen’s mission is to support artists). And the Mr. Hyphen contestants walk out on stage wearing the clothes. And yes, ladies in particular cheer loudly for them, though there are also plenty of straight men in the audience who come to the event of their own volition.

Sure, the Mr. Hyphen competition is a little campy, a bit tongue in cheek. But if you’ve ever read our magazine, you’d know that this extends to many things that we do. Our writers are tongue-in-cheek (not with everything, but with a lot of things). We like appealing images and a lot of white space in our visual design. What does design in the magazine have to do with Mr. Hyphen? I’m just explaining that we value pleasing aesthetics and witty writing — it helps draw readers in — but underlying these good-looking, fun-loving magazine pages are serious messages. People, most people anyways, aren’t going to pick up a magazine that seems so serious. A spoonful of sugar makes it tasty.

The same applies to Mr. Hyphen. We could hold an event honoring Asian American men and exploring community issues with panels and so on. But it’s just not as fun as an event on a stage with talent, interviews and yes, a fashion segment. It’s a good-looking, fun-loving event, but with serious messages. So, why a pageant format? Because it subverts the traditional (and often times sexist) notion of pageants, which tend to be about judging women on physical beauty. That’s part of the point: that we celebrate men in our community at the same time that we’re countering cliches of women. And for the record, Mr. Hyphen is NOT a beauty contest. The segment that weighs most heavily in scoring is the Q&A: how well the men are able to speak on community issues and represent.

Jaehwan, you ask if there would be male pageants in China. I don’t know the answer to that. You ask what’s wrong about masculinity in traditional Asian culture, and I would answer: nothing. But we’re not in China and we’re not in a traditional Asian culture. We’re people of color in the United States.

It’s curious that you say, “I’m not sure that kind of change necessarily takes place on a stage, unless it’s a rally or business meeting with defined goals” — especially since you are involved in starting a pageant yourself and regard it as an activist endeavor. This sentiment discounts actors, musicians, writers, performers and anyone else who advocates for change or educates others through the media or arts.

You say that people need to do something more. Absolutely. We all do. We don’t regard Mr. Hyphen as some kind of be all end all. Just as Hyphen the magazine is a start — a way to bring attention to issues and encourage people to take action, it is the same with Mr. Hyphen. People leave the event feeling proud of the contestants and inspired by their example.

I know this explanation won’t change some of your minds, particularly those of you who like to throw the word “gay” around as a put-down. It takes a man who is comfortable with himself, who is confident, and who is well-spoken to get up on that stage, represent his cause, and charm the audience. Those are admirable qualities in any man.

James,

Congrats on the girl! I know lots of people with kiddies, and I think in general, girl babies are more complex. But it truly is a joy. I’m so happy that my second was a girl. She’ll definitely be Daddy’s little one.

Check out the “Wonder of Boys” anyway. I think it could help as you develop the Alpha Asian website. I was absolutely floored by the book. He talks a lot about how we’ve come away from our traditional values, our traditional stories, and what it used to mean to be a man.

Oh, and read it BEFORE the baby comes. Reading is what I miss most from the pre-child days.

Anna,

Thanks for your input. I may blog on this later. Right now, I’m just a bit nervous. I want Pacquiao to win, but that other guy is really big. (and nobody set up the PPV, so I’ll be checking online…)

http://www.hyphenmagazine.com/blog/2009/11/mr-hyphen-your-ticket-to-a-goo.html#more

This could be one reason why some Asian guys are not feeling the contest.

Personally, I think if they added a lap dance component to the competition, Mr. Hyphen could really blow up even bigger than it already is.

White Masculinity? really?

Well to be honest i think of Brad pitt in fight club. The “Spartan” men in the movie 300. Blond Hair, blue eyes. Ripling muscular bodies, semi naked. Aryan, like Edward Norton in American History X. Men who always know what to do and always get the girl, like Pierce Brosnan in James Bond, Tom Cruise in Mission impossible. Physically imposing like Russel Crowe in Gladiator or Vin Diesal in Fast and the Furious. Not afraid to kill, ruthless and dominant. Almost always closet racist, but with privilege and institutionalised power behind him. Wealthy. Fit. Handsome. Muscular.

That to me is the image of white masculinity imprinted in my mind. Although logically I know this is an incorrect view, with all the stinky, fat , fugly pasty faced white slobs i’ve seen in real life daily, the power of propaganda and the media is still strong on me.

White masculinity to me is represented in the media. (western mainstream/white media that is). In real life, most white men i know or associate with are not “masculine”, not by the definition propagated by white media, nor in my own definition of masculinity. Sure some of the white guys i know might be built and muscular, but they never act like the heroes in the movies, they act more cowardly and weak in real life, and often racist and deceitful as well. Conniving, self centred, think white is superior, condescending white men.

So the white ideal of masculinity being propagated in white media is just that. An ideal, it can never be defeated because its a concept, an ideal. Thats what makes it powerful, because even if real life shows it incorrect, it can never be incorrect, because the ideal is right, and everyone else is an anomoly.

Thats what i mean when i say about the power of films and media…

By the way, do you know the gender of your child yet? If it’s a boy, there’s a great book called “The Wonder of Boys” by Michael Gurian that I STRONGLY recommend. It’s by far the best book on raising boys that I’ve seen.

I thought the Mr. Hyphen contest always had a catwalk. it’s a beauty contest, so I expect nothing less.

Anyway my wife and I are having a girl, YAY! Although I’m looking forward to be a father, it is a little daunting to know that your relationship with your daughter is going to influence how she relates to men later in life. I gotta dot my i’s and cross my T’s from now on.

“The Wonder of Boys” looks interesting. I think women don’t fully understand why men nowadays feel disinherited and disconnected from their sense of masculinity. Which is why the book and movie “Fight Club” is so popular.

I think with Asian American men, this disconnect is compounded by the fact that we’re a minority with few role models. Which is why I do the Alpha Asian blog. I post videos of Asian American men of various backgrounds doing their own thing, being Alpha or successful in their own ways.