This is an old concept, even older than FDR who told us that we had nothing to fear but fear itself. In my last post, I talked about two men who run a billion dollar corporation, one of whom asked, “What would your life be like if you could eliminate the fear of failure, and where would you be at this point in life?” Fear and doubt go hand in hand. I’ve met so many people who don’t want to do anything because they fear failure, and I’ve met so many others who define their world by what they and others can’t do. Can’t and fear are both four letter words.
Fear and doubt are internal, and yet they hinder us more effectively than any other outside force. People having been telling us what Thymos can’t do ever since we started growing, and we’ve proved them wrong every time. We set our goals realistically, but at the end of the day, in order to succeed, you have to be able to see the path of how you can succeed. You have to believe.
Let me give a few examples of life without fear in action:
1. My son used to babble in English, but since we started sending him to Chinese school, he does so in Chinese too. He learns quickly in part because he never lets his mistakes embarrass him.
2. Many have noticed that an undefeated MMA fighter is psychologically better than one who has tasted defeat. Undefeated fighters don’t believe they can lose, and therefore they continue to move forward.
3. I’m working on the outline of my Asian American novel, AND I’ve begun to write paragraphs. The outline is safe; the paragraphs create the risk of wasting time. However, I know that by writing paragraphs, I take myself outside of my comfort zone and begin to learn more about where the story is going. I could end up wasting a lot of time–a precious resource for me–but it’s worth the risk in order to see where I can go.
Life without fear is the way to go. As Ephren Taylor mentions, your risk tolerance falls as you get a family, mortgage, etc.. Still, in order to complete your goals, it’s important to live some parts of your life without fear. If someone tells you you can’t do something, ask yourself if it is a fact or an opinion.
I think this is one of the reasons I love judo. In judo, in order to attack a larger man, you often have to spin your body and turn your back to him. In order to be successful, you have to get over your fear and trust yourself. Perhaps the absence of fear is the creation of trust?
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I also wanted more rice than what could fit inside the wrap....
FDR say nothing to fear but fear itself.
err. make that said.
Oops. My bad. I got mixed up with that fear to negotiate thing. Corrected and, as always, thanks, Lingyai.