I saw this beautiful, though somewhat sad, article on CNN today. Black women are choosing to adopt without waiting for a man to come around. These black women are successful, strong, and accomplished, but they have not found men who will marry them or treat them with respect. Many have decided to go ahead and move forward with motherhood. It’s beautiful because these women are empowered and not allowing society to hold them back, but it’s sad because these men are turning down something good.
Some people are criticizing these women because they feel it’s bad to have more single parent African American families. I say screw it. If these women can provide love and stability for these children, many of whom are caught up in the system, I say go for it. It’s sad to waste one’s capacity to love.
As I’ve mentioned before, I think the African American and Asian American gender imbalances are very different because men and women are different. I think it’s good to compare them though. I thought about whether Asian American men would ever forego marriage and just adopt. I don’t think so; it’s not a typical male thing to do. In real life, lonely Asian American men don’t adopt kids; they “adopt” wives by heading back to the motherland. Then they treat these wives like garbage. It’s sad but true–I’m sure you all know people like this–Asian guys barking at their wives because their wives can’t speak the language. Which supports Den Boer and Hudson’s view that female shortages create very big problems, and which also supports my view that we all need to work on fixing the imbalance.