Comments on: Daddies Who Become HouseDaddies

By: jaehwan

jaehwan — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:57:57 +0000

Thanks to D, who sent this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-467390/Househusband-backlash-high-flying-wives-ditch-men-em-em-wanted-stay-home.html

Man, that is some scary stuff. I think this is one of those issues that no one can foresee.

By: jaehwan

jaehwan — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:42:13 +0000

MN:

“What are you going to do, divorce me? We have a kid together.”

Oh my! Well, I guess the answer was yes. My, my, my. Do you remember “An Officer and A Gentleman” where the commanding officer warns the troops about women who take advantage of officers by trying to have babies? This is the role reversal. Either JackD is progressive, or he’s a goof. Hahaha!

By: mama nabi

mama nabi — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 06:18:48 +0000

Oh, no, he wasn’t an asshole when we were dating. I mean, I’m sure he was – but he really wanted to be married. So he did his part around the house. It was only during pregnancy he showed his true self – he even said something like, “What are you going to do, divorce me? We have a kid together.” We were married for 5 years. He was only an asshole for the last 3 years of it. He decided that once we had a child together, he no longer had to try to impress me. That’s when I also found out that we had completely different political views – he had even lied about that. I’m not saying that I might have ignored a few signs… but he did outright lie to me about his expectations of a good marriage. Once a child is born, he believed that it’s the mother’s job to do everything for the child PLUS all the other household chores.

By: Leon

Leon — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 02:07:40 +0000

Okay, I’ve never been married before, so I apologize if I sound callous. And I know I’m gonna get in serious trouble for this, but Mama Nabi, if you don’t mind me asking, why the heck did you marry such an asshole in the first place?

By: Akrypti

Akrypti — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 18:58:14 +0000

Just to make sure I’m clear, I agree with Mama Nabi. There are few things more repulsive to me than a man who refuses to help with household chores. All I’m saying is I don’t want a man who thinks his life can be complete from riding on my coattails. He needs to have ambitions and goals and pursuits of his own.

By: jaehwan

jaehwan — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:39:30 +0000

If he was failing as a father while sharing the duties with you, I wonder why he would think he’d do a better job with you working more hours? And then to propose having another kid because he wasn’t getting it? Wow.

By: mama nabi

mama nabi — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 06:27:13 +0000

Funny. My ex actually proposed this. That I pop out another kid, he stays home, I go corporate for more hours and more pay.

To be honest, until my daughter was born, I considered it. Perhaps because he wasn’t that sexy to begin with but it didn’t do anything for the sex appeal, i.e. it neither decreased nor increased. It just made more sense because of our educational background, my two degrees vs his no degree.

When he dared to bring it up – I’m guessing not because he thought he wanted another kid but because he hadn’t been getting sex for two and 1/2 years – I told him that due to his lack of help and support around the house despite the fact that I worked full time and he only worked 20 some hours, he no longer appealed to me as a sexual being, hence no more kids. Ever.

Obviously, I don’t believe in gender divide in housework vs. outside work. I never realized how sexy it is to see a man participate in child rearing until I became a mother.

Besides, if the man doesn’t help out around the house, the woman’s not going to have any energy left to have or want to have sex with him. Simple as that.

By: jaehwan

jaehwan — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 02:55:35 +0000

Amazing. That’s more or less exactly what Ms. WOWO said.

On the flip side, I probably wouldn’t be so attracted to a woman with zero aspirations either. I think that kind of relationship is passe these days.

By: Akrypti

Akrypti — Sun, 31 May 2009 03:08:41 +0000

“Have lots of kids”? Is he planning on carrying these kids around in *his* uterus? If I’m the only one making money and my career is a lifeline, then I can’t be running around pregnant all the time. That’s a serious damper in the professional world. And that’s another can of worms right there.

Unattractive. To the men who want that and the women who want such men, more power to them. For me, it’s a no deal. He needs to be my equal, not my handmaiden.

By: jaehwan

jaehwan — Sat, 30 May 2009 21:29:23 +0000

Akrypti:

That icon stuff is totally random. Hmm. You can log in with a different IP, or you can choose your own icon at gravatar.com.

Let me ask this. You go on a date with a guy. His goal in life is to be a house husband. He doesn’t care about money, doesn’t care about making a name for himself, just wants to stay home, start a family, and have lots of kids. You get the feeling that he’ll do it all–cleaning, feeding, diaper-changing, and even decoration. He won’t have a career, but he’ll support yours.

Attractive or not? (No right answers, just curious.)