I just finished this book: Great Kids: Helping Your Baby and Child Develop the Ten Essential Qualities for a Healthy, Happy Life by Stanley I. Greenspan. The book focuses on ten different areas on which to focus when raising a child who is confident, creative, strong, and moral. Those of you in education have probably read tons of books like this one, but it’s a great little book.
My favorite part of the book was the part on giving your child the tools for moral integrity. It says:
“Morality is a matter of the heart, a matter of caring, not just of knowing the difference between right and wrong.”
The author links the development of morality to the ability to empathize. I like this. This actually explains a lot of the problems that I (and Xian) had with the whole PUA system–there’s no empathy, nor is there any initiative to do the right thing; it’s all about narcissistic ways to feed the ego. At the same time, part of me still feels bad–how do we help people who don’t feel remorse when doing bad things? Eventually one can only do so much to help people.
Anyway, according to the book, life is still simple for kids who are age nine and under. When kids are young, however, parents can build empathy by genuinely listening and asking questions. The author believes that all kids can be helped by showing love and warmth. It’s a nice thought, given what kids these days go through.
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I was very concerned about “empathy” factor when LN was younger as far as whether empathy was genetic or learned emotion. (Yes, I do give genetics a lot of credence… it’s a personal fascination.
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My ex in-laws do not possess empathy, not even for each other. It is such a strongly unifying trait of theirs that I was concerned. (LN’s been showing signs of empathy so I’m relieved.)
Interesting connection between empathy and morality. I might have to check the book out. Thanks!
The book is awesome. As a relatively new parent, one thing that has amazed me is the fact that kids pick up so much on their own. What? English without grammar lessons???
I think it’s probably a combination of nature and nurture, but hopefully we can all nurture to the best of our abilities.